into my arms

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today I went to church. I don’t believe in God. I went to listen to a concert. It was many different choirs from my hometown, and the area surrounding it. I have always liked going to churches, though I am not a christian. The buildings still have something… big. And sacred. I went to a church in Paris in Montmatre and started crying. Spontaneuously. I was surprised. I don’t know what it is. But maybe the churches are sort of .. full of some kind of human energy. Nothing magical, but just.. I don’t know. Anyway, at the end of the concert, all of the choires sang together. I think there were like 6 or 7 different choires. They sang two songs together. It was very powerful. Music is  something that is very uniting. On my way out of the church I overheard a woman saying something like : now this, this.. is something that really serves our public health. ;maybe this is bad english. But yeah. An experience like this, music together.. it really is something for our hearts and souls. I don’t care if it sounds pretentious or whatever.

The whole experience reminds me of this song. One of my favorites. Enjoy. Or cry. Or both.Into my arms

mars april may

mars, april, may

mars, venus, mercury

that spring feeling. i would like to go to on a roadtrip, to find something i didn’t know existed. i want to be surprised. i bought this book the other day,  “The Un-discovered islands” by Malachy Tallack. a map over islands that no longer are on the map … sometimes i feel like we’ve seen it all. of course we haven’t. but imagine the feeling when you see an elephant for the first time, in real life, if you’ve never seen an elephant on a photograph before. i love photography and art in general, but sometimes i feel full, and the images i see … i no longer see. they’re just there. it doesn’t matter if they are beautiful, or interesting, or appealing. they become the clock on my wall, the carpet in my living room, they become my white, square, boring refrigerator. that’s when i know it is time to starve myself. visually. for a little while. so i once again can feel mesmerized.

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Inner wave

you were stretching out your hand

grasping for the cooling wind

driving through Europe, leaning your head against the warm backseat of our car

feeling the air become solid in your palm,

as life becomes something more solid and clear when you grow up

… before it dissolves

droplets of water

relieving on hot days in July

making you cold, on your way home five in the morning, late september

bare shoulders and bare legs

and a wave of disappointment

washing over you, again and again

that hollowness in your stomach

and you watch the birds fly by

and you wish you were that bird

living on the seashore

reaching for the clouds

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It´s like riding horses over avalanches,

I tame them on my daddies´ranches

feel the wave and hear the thunder

Now I play mikado with broken branches

 

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